all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
