Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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