Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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