He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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