he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
