You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Your cock deserves a montage
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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