You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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