I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
