Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
