Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
