Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
