So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
