Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
