You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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