can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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