My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Randomize
