jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
