Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
