So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
