It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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