hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
