she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
