Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
