I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
