I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
