Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
