Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
