super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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