in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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