**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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