i jhust puked up my retainher.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
