Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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