Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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