So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
