I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
