Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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