I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
