At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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