that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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