OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
