Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Randomize
