i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
