Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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