I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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