He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
