"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
