I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
