dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
