Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
