ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
