Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
