she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
