goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
People in love make me want to vomit
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
