Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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