she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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